Wicked Little Town

A Non-Adventure In Queens

I had an annoying night last night.

I made plans to meet my friend JM at his place in Astoria, Queens for an evening of Scrabble.  (Shutup!)  Since I had never been to his apartment before, and had only been to Astoria once, he gave me directions from the subway and off I went.  Now, for those unfamiliar with New York City, let me tell you that Astoria isn't really close to my Brooklyn neighborhood and to get there via subway, you need to travel through Manhattan and switch trains at least once.  The whole trip takes about an hour.

Which is why it was with complete horror that I realized while switching trains at 34th St., that I had left the paper with the directions, ALONG WITH MY CELL PHONE, on my hall table.  Fuck!

After a moment of panic, I decided that I thought I could remember the directions to the apartment, but wasn't really clear about the street address.  Maybe I could call AT&T from a pay phone and  they could tell me the last number my phone dialed (JM's) and all would be good, right?

Wrong.  Once I arrived in Astoria and found a pay phone, I was told by AT&T that they did not have that ability, but that the number would appear on my next bill, which should be arriving in a few days.  Like that fucking helps me now!  I then called directory assistance to see if I could get JM's land line.  Now, he has a last name that surpasses mine in unusual combinations of consonants, but I was still able to spell it correctly, only to find out the number was unlisted.

Freezing and beginning to feel a bit desperate, I walked up and down the block hoping to maybe see a name on a mailbox or for the address to jump out at me.  I even rang one bell and asked several people going in and out of houses if they knew JM.  Nope.

I thought I would make one last-ditch effort and call directory assistance back for the address, but was told by the operator that he was not allowed to reveal that info.  I begged, I pleaded, but he was not budging.  Finally, I got him to confirm that at least I had the correct street but he wouldn't go so far as to give me the block, and basically hung up on me.  Faggot!

Defeated, I trudged back to the subway and began the long trek home to Brooklyn. 

3 hours after I left, I opened the door of my apartment to see the phone and the directions sitting right there, almost mocking me.  There was also a voice message from JM, wondering where the hell I was.  I called him back and explained my retardedness and we had a good laugh about it, but I still went to bed completely aggravated with myself for being so stupid and wasting a whole night, not to mention JM's.  I am an idiot.

Extreme Sighting: Miami Edition

I almost forgot to  post that while walking to dinner on Lincoln Road in South Beach last night, we ran into Ty Pennington, formerly of Trading Spaces and currently host of ABC's Extreme Makover: Home Edition.

Our stylist, my friend G, had an brief exchange with him that went something like this:

G:  Excuse me, I just want to tell you, you are doing great work.
Ty:  [Vacant look]
G:  You're changing the world!
Ty:  Thanks?

My verdict:  The big doofus act really isn't an act at all...but on the upside, much cuter in person.

Hasta La Vista, Miami

It was fun while it lasted, but tomorrow I must leave your sunny shores and return to the frozen, snowy ciudad called Nueva York.  Thanks for the brief but lovely respite...whereas in years past I have resisted your charms, this time I must admit you have won me over.  Until next time...adios!

Paper Thin Walls

So, I am in my hotel room this morning, getting ready for the day, and I hear the man in the room next door fart.  Loud and long.  Ew!

More Fun In The Sun

Still shooting down in Miami...today we were at the fishing village and beach park at Virginia Key, which used to be the "black" beach back in the days of segregation and now is a kind of run-down, secluded spot that is used as a location by many film and video productions.  There is even a ramshackle old bar called "Jimbo's" which of course I had to take lots of photos of.

Speaking of photos, I have really been digging my new digital camera and would love it if you would check out the photo album section of this blog by clicking here or on the "1,000 Words" link to the left.  Lemme know what you think, even if what you think is that I suck!

Normally, I Like My Job

...but this weekend, I absolutely LOVE my job! 

Finished scouting early (found some really exciting locations in an old run down fishing village called Virginia Key) and I just got back from a few hours of shopping followed by an hour in the heated pool and a stroll on the beach.  Next time I bitch about work, someone remind me about this free little mini-vacation! 

On second thought, scratch that...after over 7 years up in that place, with more downs than ups, I'd say it's about time I got thrown a perk.  Hrmph.

Oh, remember that little brat that spent all morning screaming in the room next door?  Well imagine my chagrin when I stepped outside to get the elevator and noticed a "Do Not Disturb" sign on their doorknob!  Oh, so it's perfectly ok for you to disturb the guests around you by letting your mealy-mouthed rugrat holla like mad at 7 am, but the rest of US are not to disturb YOU?  Fuck that!

So I ripped the sign off and tossed it.  I hope the maid walks in on them nekkid.  Hee!

On the agenda tonight:  a little relaxation in my room then an authentic Spanish dinner in South Beach.  Rice and beans, baby, yeah!

Digging Out

Nope, not me!  Ha!  I managed to catch what was probably one of the last flights that made it out of LaGuardia before the airport was closed yesterday.  The snow had just started to fall and our wings had to be de-iced, but our photographer, my boss and I still managed to take off with only a slightly minor delay and after a delicious sushi dinner at Bond St., this morning I awoke in my Miami Beach Hotel room with a magnificent view of the Atlantic Ocean.  Ah, I hate snow!

I know a lot of people enjoy the snow, but I think living all my 35 years on the East Coast, with fairly regular snowstorms every winter, I have had my fill of it.  And even though this is a work trip with several early morning call times ahead, I am glad to be somewhere else (warm and sunny, at that!) while my friends and neighbors in NYC are shovelling out from under about a foot of snow...sorry guys!

If it is any consolation, the infant in the room above mine has been wailing non-stop since 7:00 this morning.  KILL IT!

Off to scout locations...later, gators!

A First Time For Everything

I just did something I never in a million years thought I would ever do -- I got a spray tan.

I feel so...ridiculously gay, but in an artificially sunkissed way.

On a related note, let's hope tomorrow's snow doesn't fuck up my departure to Miami.  My flight leaves at 12:30 and the shit isn't supposed to start falling until later in the afternoon.  Fingers crossed! 

A Night At The Pit

Amazing how much more tolerable the subway ride from the West Village back to the BK is after a few beers and with some vintage Poison on the Dell DJ!

Tonight was my friend Ingrid's birthday party at the Hog Pit, and it was pretty damn fun.  Despite the neverending flow of ribs, BBQ chicken and mac 'n cheese, I totally pulled a Mary Kate and drank my dinner.  After all, not only will I be poolside in Miami Beach in less than 48 hours, but the party was chock full of cute-ass homosexuals, including the little hottie who tried to have a foursome with me and my friends after meeting him at the Slide back in November, and even though group sex is most definitely NOT on my menu, I wouldn't be opposed to some one-on-one nasty business with him.

Alas, he left early with his friend who was visiting from Chicago, so no action for JT tonight. 

However, upon returning home and firing up the laptop to make this post, I was pleasantly surprised to see an e-mail waiting for me from the guy I had lunch with last Friday.  Turns out he was snowboarding in Vermont the past 5 days.  And here I thought he just wasn't that into me.
Of course, an e-mail does not a long term relationship make, but still, the chances for a second date are that much more favorable now.  Yay for me!

Ok, time to hit the sack...big day tomorrow, tying up loose ends for this Miami shoot and then laundry and packing once I get home.  Nighty night!

UPDATED TO ADD:  I can't believe I almost forgot to mention the hooker named Taffy who was drinking a cocktail named "The Blowjob," forced my friends to play a game of pool with her, lost, then hit me up for "cab fare home" (aka fundage for her next Blowjob.)  Needless to say, she didn't get a dime from this kid.  But she was ghetto fabulous in her floor length faux mink coat.

A Boozer, A User and A Loser

Have I mentioned lately that I am practically squirming in anticipation of this?  Imagine, 97 whole minutes of sheer pleasure.

Ah, if only I could be at next week's Sundance Film Festival...